Piedmont Hospital posted record profits last month by forcing all visitors to pass through a series of reconstructed hospital entrances containing aisle after aisle of the most popular toys of the season. In less than a month, over two million dollars in profit was generated selling Thomas trains, Elsa dolls and dozens of other must-have children’s toys to families trying to keep screaming children from creating a scene as they pass their favorite toys on the way to visit their grandpa in the hospital.
Hospital officials were just months away from laying off dozens of nurses to finance continued administrative operations when floor nurse Janice Berrymore put the toy idea in the suggestion box.
Many parents of young children quickly learn how to map their way through big box stores, steering clear of the toy and candy aisles to avoid scenes that are sure to follow.
“I gave up baby shopping at Target years ago because they always put their toys right next to the diapers and the baby wipes. I couldn’t walk out of their without a new action figure or a tantrum,” said Janice, who now does all her shopping on Amazon.
By forcing parents to walk their kids into the heart of their favorite toys, hospital officials hope to capitalize on parents trying to keep the peace while visiting their loved ones in the hospital.
“I find most parents will simply buy the Elsa doll rather than deal with a Target tantrum,” said Devin Getter, a volunteer who wonders the toy aisle with suckers and condolences.
While most first time visiting parents will simply throw their hands in the air and buy whatever their kid wants, some returning families have tried to bypass the toy aisle by resorting to drastic measures. One family was even caught with three little kids zipped up in a suitcase trying to scurry their way through the toy aisle.
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